“When are you going to have kids?” Many couples without children dread this question, and when you happen to be dealing with infertility, it’s even more upsetting, regardless of who’s asking.
It’s all in your control how you respond, but how DO you answer? Do you have to answer? A good way to overcome this situation is to come up with a response with your partner, so you won’t be caught off guard the next time you’re asked, and you’ll both be on the same page in regards to what you share and with whom.
If you’re simply stumped, or overcome with anger when coming up with a response to this touchy subject, we’re sharing some different approaches you can take that should ease your stress.
It’s perfectly fine to not answer at all, and just change the topic. You don’t need to explain yourself. Smile, and say ”I’d rather not discuss this now.”
Moving past this question with humor will quickly and painlessly diffuse the situation. You could use a silly zinger like “as soon as we learn how,” or “let me check, how about tomorrow at 8:00am?”
Be politely vague
You could answer the question in such a way that you’re not really sharing anything, yet still being polite. Try saying something like “when the time is right, it will happen,” or “that’s a great question; I wish I knew the answer.”
Flip it around
Your fertility isn’t anyone’s business but your own, so you may ask the other person, “I’m not sure. What do you think?” or “why do you want to know?”
If you have started sharing your infertility struggles with others, you may feel empowered to take this opportunity to openly talk about it. In this case, you could say, “it’s interesting you ask…we’ve been trying for a while now.”
Hopefully, you now have some ideas you can put into practice when someone unexpectedly asks THE question. What answers have worked for you? Share your thoughts with us.
If you’re in search of top-notch, personalized fertility care, our specialists at the Reproductive Care Centre are ready to help. Call us today at 905-816-9822 or request an appointment via our contact form.